Sunday, 2 March 2014

Life.

source

The sun.
The centre of your world and your universe.
Life revolves around it.

You are Earth-like.
The other aspects of your life circle around you like little moons, your family, friends, hobbies and everything you enjoy.
Sometimes in life your moons aren't as appreciated as they should be, but loyally they orbit you and you stare into the sky, commenting on their beauty, you see them daily, you love them, you visit them, earn from them, write them, they are part of you, they're important.
You mustn't forget them.

Meanwhile your sun glows beautifully, it tans you healthily and nice, it provides you with life, and in turn gives that life meaning.

You adore it.
You'd do anything for it.

Sometimes it's so beautiful you cannot even bear to look at it, thinking it is unworthy of your gaze, it is too precious and too special, it burns too brightly, but you sometimes sneak a glance.
It is blinding.
So bright you see no sun spots, no imperfections.
It is perfect.
It makes you happy, it is warm.
Summer.

After a while the Winter may come; the sun still shines on those crisp, frosty mornings.
Snow days are different and exciting, though rare, and you know your sun will always come to the rescue and melt it all away...the heat of Summer always returns and fills your world with light and beauty.
Everything grows.
The deep core of your planet is warm, it glows, it provides all of your planet with minerals and goodness, nature.
Your emotions come and go like the weather, but your faithful sun always burns the clouds away, your trusty moons make the tides rise and fall, but everything is okay, because you are attached to your sun, its gravity pulls you in.
You are with it forever.
It is stable, everlasting, life giving, it provides, it loves you, you love it, you need it, it is yours.
And you are its.

You are its.
And you can never leave it.
Gravity.

You are its.

Sometimes during Winter, the sun doesn't shine as much, you long for it to shine, you don't feel so warm any more.
The Winter can be so long at times...
You long for your sun, where is the sun?
You see it faintly through the dark clouds at times, but it is weak, unfamiliar, you don't recognise it, you try and find blankets to keep you warm instead.
You hide under them and wait for Summer...it's been so long since Summer now.

You look up at the sky, your moons are there, some of them are hiding behind the Winter clouds, you realise you haven't seen them in so long, maybe the sun was too bright?
You miss them.
They can't hear you, neither can the sun.

The sun isn't listening, it doesn't care.
Blankets.

Summer doesn't come any more. You spin once, twice, around your sun, explore it from every angle, every side, 360 degrees, you tilt on your axis time and time again, peering, searching, and waiting patiently, but something is wrong.

Your sun is changing.

Your star, once so bright and beautiful, the perfect distance from you, giving you warmth, light, life, it looks different now, it's red, angry, it's unnerving.
You're scared and you want to run away, you wish you were big and strong like Jupiter, further away, not so solid, not so breakable.
You wish to be Jupiter, but you look like Pluto. 
A cold rock, dark, distant, small, insignificant.
Demoted.
 Breakable like ice on a lake.
You realise your sun is dying, but it is dangerous.
It is growing, and it will engulf you in its flames.

You are its.

Your oceans are drying up, you still can't see your moons. They're not affecting the tides.
You don't call out to them any more, this is just a bad dream...it will go away.
The leaves haven't been on the trees for a long time, but now the trees are dying, they don't grow any more, they don't flourish.
The sun is back but it's too big, too hot, too strong.
Red. Angry. Scorching.

It has a fever, the temperature is too high, it's spreading to you, your clouds are all burned away now, and you're dangerously exposed.
Your mountains have crumbled, they eroded when the sea evaporated and washed over them one last time, like tears.
Grains of sand in a hot desert.
Not much else is left.

The red giant glows in the sky.
It isn't yours any more, you don't recognise it.
It burns you. 
You don't want it.
But you are its.
It will devour you as it falls, right before it implodes.

It's coming for you, it's growing.
It's going to smother you, it's trying, it wants you.
You want to run, you need to run.
But you're no longer spinning; trapped in blazing, searing heat.
Trapped.
You're there a lifetime; stars take a long time to burn out.
The star is hurt, it no longer recognises you either.
You look like Pluto, Pluto isn't a beautiful place, it isn't happy, nor full of life.
But still it is theirs.
Pluto still orbits the sun.

You are its.

Forever.

Or not.
There is a mountain left on your planet, it has been hiding on the dark side, just one.
It is Everest.
You yearn for the top, for the snow capped peak that will soothe your burns.
But you have to climb it.
It's so high.
You fear you will never make it.
Fear.
You fear your mountain will come into the light, and be blasted and burned to dust, you will never have another mountain.
You have to climb it. you can do it, you can do it.
You're going to get frostbite, but it is better than being burned alive.
Your heart has frostbite.
Hypothermia slowed its beats a long time ago, deep in the dead of Winter, but you no longer fear the cold - you have blankets.

Then you reach the summit.
You're frozen, tired, exhausted, hurting, but you have climbed the biggest mountain in your world, in your body, in your mind.
Simultaneously, your sun implodes.
It is not a Supernova, it was never big enough. Not as big as it thought.
Not as big as you thought.

The heat from the explosion dries your last lakes; no more tears can fall.
It melts the ice at the top of your mountain, but Everest is in tact.
Strong. Jupiter.

Calm is coming, ascending, the sky is clearing.
The moons are shining, you can touch them, you can visit them, you can see their craters, the faces in the moon.
They glow so beautifully, you realise they were there all along, they help, they bring back the tide so it rises in a non-destructive wave, washing away the residue, and you love them.
You always did.
The sky is so beautiful now.
It is full of stars, twinkling brightly from afar.
They light up your world, you never saw them before.
You notice another, a small dark star, it looks so distant now, it is a shell, a memory, you smile and nod to it in acknowledgement, but you don't want to look at it again.
You don't need to.
Its gravity cannot reach you.

Your planet has a single green shoot, it grows from the warmth of your core, the light reflected from your moons.
Your core never went cold; it powered your Everest.
It is stronger than you ever thought.

It is you.

You are not alone.
I am not alone.


This is my story, it's 2am, but I had words in my head that just had to come out.
This post might not be here long, but I wanted to share it with you...whoever else is awake at 2am, contemplating life.
Life is good :)

<3

12 comments:

  1. I do this and post things like this, i hope you keep it and dont delete it. You will love reading it back in like 4 years time.. trust me! :D xx

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    1. Aww I hope so!! It's staying on here for now :D thank you xx

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  2. Hey beauty woooww you have a really nice blog :) would you like if we follow each other on blog? let me know what do you think ? Regards from Bosnia ♥
    http://obsessionwithfashion.blogspot.com/

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  3. Holllllllllllllly this is so beautiful, don't you dare delete it. You write so well, with some much emotion... I absolutely love it, you talented thing you xxxxx

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    1. Gemmaaa, thank you so much, it means a lot...you are a doll :D xx

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  4. Holly you seriously made me cry with this post....so powerful and with so much hidden meaning to it :( Beautiful.

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    1. Thank you Amna, and hope everything is okay with you right now, sending hugs <3 :) xx

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