Monday, 21 April 2014

OOTD: The Questionably Printed Dress.

Now, I know what you're thinking you guys...
'That's an ermmm, interesting print you've got on that dress of yours there, Holly, did you ermm, visit Amsterdam recently and decide on a new way of life?'

No, I did not.

It's just a nice dress.
I like it.
The colours are flattering, and they'll look good with a tan.


What I wore:

Beloved Shoesies: Zara £29.99 (old)
Necklace: eBay £1.15

I blame those sneaky little swines at Motel Rocks though, they knowww they got it.
They know when I'm stalking their website, adding this dress to my basket, (several times over the space of like a year or something) and leaving it in there - they email me to remind me, almost rubbing my excessive skintness in my face, reminding me that this dress is indeed an extortionate £32, and there ain't no way in the abode of Hades they're ever gonna sale section it...

Just cruel.

But screw it, this month something extremely strange has occurred, and I was granted the gift of 'left-over-money', to do with whatever I pleased...
A dangerous occurrence I tell you.

Naturally, into my Motel basket I popped it - again, before clicking the red 'X' - again, sparking yet more sneakily enticing emails...
'You still have items in your basket Miss Gardiner, the questionably printed dress you've had your eyes on for endless time, it's stock, in your size, it's pretty, it's devine, you must buy it, it must be yours, before it's too late...'
Okay the email might not go exacccctly like that, but you get me. 
I'm sure at Motel HQ, they were sat staring in suspense at their screens, in a 'will she/won't she?' moment, all gathering to await the moment my will finally crumbled...

Night after night I stared at the price tag, hoping I could somehow gain the powers of my childhood hero, Matilda, and magically sale section its ass, making me feel just slightly less naughty.
I ain't used to this spending shiz.
It's naughty.
Like the questionable DEFINITE PALM PRINT covering the item of my desire.

Then it happened.

*cue music*
(I'd prefer it if you started it from 1 min 11 seconds, but I know even asking you to click 'play' is a bit much...)


I clicked 'checkout and pay' or whatever it is, and blumin' got me my long time loved questionably printed dress!
I even found a sneaky discount code 'cos I'm a cheapskate sly mo'fo', and really, £32 for such a minute piece of material really is a bit much for a girl more used to rationing raisins for her tea.
Just sayin'.

This appears to be a fascinating and somewhat hilarious phone conversation...I wonder who with?
Justin Timberlake? Will Smith?
The lady never tells ;)
You dare to interrupt?

Look how coy I am ;) not telling you which immensely handsome famous Mr. I was arranging a date with.

Anyhoo, off I went for cocktails in Leeds, complete with my shoesies, (lies, I wore them for photographic purposes only, can't walk in 'em) and my beloved and eagerly awaited questionably printed dress!

Just to confirm, I do not advocate or take part in the consumption, inhalation, or otherwise of such products which appear to be advertised on my dress.
It's merely a pretty dress with nice colours and I wanted it.


Saturday, 19 April 2014

L'Oreal Miss Manga Mascara: Mega Volume or Mega Disappointment? Review.

I ain't beating around the bush here.
My title maybe alluring, drawing you in ready for the 'is it?'/'is it not?' verdict, but I just can't even mince my words right now.
In fact, I feel so strongly here that I'MA BOLD AND UNDERLINE THIS FOR Y'ALL.
Mega disappointment.

I could probably leave my blog post right there on that singular statement, given that it expresses all that I have to say on this, however it is me writing this, and therefore a huge and rambly rant is necessary.

Oh sweet typing, how I've missed you.

It all began about two months ago, when I unwittingly found myself completely devoid of mascara, unable to scrape a single sweep more out of my tube, and without a replacement.
I know, I know, I mean whuuuuuut? 
A blogger without mascara?!

I have no excuses and clearly deserved all I got.

This sad realisation lead me to only one mum's make-up bag, and the place where she'd just bought a brand new and extremely shiny, (me + shiny things = try and stop mehhh) mascara, which would you know it - just HAPPENED to be a new release from my old mascara love, L'Oreal...
Huge coincidence, I swear.

Now, in the short few days I used L'Oreal's 'Miss Manga' mascara for, I decided that mehhhh, it was okay, nowt spesh, and definitely wouldn't have been a potential repurchase had it actually been my own mascara, but as with all brand new mascaras, you might as well rule out the first week or so anyway.
The benefit of the doubt was given, and a new mascara of my own purchased.
Miss Manga, so I thought, was never to darken these lashes of mine again...

Until, well, about six weeks later.
And here, ladies, (and you sneaky gents) is where the real story begins.
See it appears I didn't learn from my mistake, and I'd continued to use my mascara, knowing that the 'number of coats applied' to 'amount of product actually appearing' ratio was becoming more skew-whiff as each day passed, and my mascara was once again, indeed, deaded.
Aaaaand once again, I was without a replacement.
Scanning the area for a good brick wall for this head of mine as I type...seriously.

Back to my madre's bag of make-up I turned, and once again to a young Miss of the Manga variety, now slightly less new and liquid-y, in the hope that she'd be a little kinder to me in my hour six days of need...
Especially given that I was now risking conjunctivitis or something equally hideous and bare-eyes inducing, for both me and my poor mother.

She wasn't.

First of all, Miss Manga, darling - if I'd wanted flat eyelashes, I wouldn't have spent ten minutes blumin' curling them?!
I wish that was an exaggeration.
*hides face in shame*
I mean gawddd I forgave you in those early days where you were all runny and shiz, but you're six weeks old now, whyyyy, when I apply you, do my eyelashes suddenly want to flop and fall flatter than umm, a really flat thing (no, a pancake is not flat enough!)! 

Okay I'm ready.
WHY, Miss Manga, do you seem to think I only wish to have three eyelashes?
Why are you sticking them together in gigantic spidery clumps?
That ain't the definition of 'Mega Volume' gurl!
If you say you're gonna give me some much needed volume - do it the proper way and thicken up my damn lashes, don't be a fraudster and just stick my existing ones together claiming volume.
Ain't nobody got time for using toothpicks to separate them, especially not when you've just had to go against your strongest of morals and re-curl your lashes AFTER applying mascara. 
Serious, I almost had no time to check twitter while eating breakfast.
kmt again.

Miss Manga, darling, your packaging is pretty and while its pink shiny-ness does attract magpie's a la moi, (and clearly my mum) I'd get more use out of Harry Potter's flippin' phoenix feather wand, (no innuendo intended) which I do believe is straight up and down, smooth and has oh - no bristles at all, (seriously, no innuendo intended, lol) than the one you have supplied me with!
I mean, the weird rotating/bending in half thing?
Don't get it.
I've literally never ever in my life used a mascara and thought 'oh this would be so much easier if perhaps I could completely snap the wand in half'.
Also, you have to like, hold it there on the bend if you want to actually use it while in half?
I mean, if anyone out there can enlighten me then by all means do, I genuinely am intrigued, but until such reason is provided for this mysterious design, I shall just continue my rant.

Believe it or not I'm not done!
The brush is tapered and bristly as opposed to plastic, and that's all good sometimes, but in this case I find it all just a bit fiddly!
Now I love a good 'small end' as much as the next girl who struggles to reach the inner corners, but there is just such a large size contrast in this case, that the fat end is full of gloop, and middle bottom lashes are, well, hard work!
The actual design of the brush is a bit all over the place too, alongside being tapered, there's a kind of subtle twist effect running through it, but like, it's only kind of there? I don't know if it's just my eyes seeing it even, so it can't surely be a's just a bit, well, odd, as though two people with differing brush design ideas tried to reach a compromise and sort of just half did it.

As with the rest, I just don't know!

Lastability wise, Madame Manga, I'll give you this, you don't flake, and you have survived my ultimate mascara test - the spin class - unscathed, *mild applause* a feat 'The Falsies' didn't manage to accomplish!

Any more positives?
It's black, proper black*, not that naff grey type.
*Although you can also buy it in turquoise and purple, if that's your thaaang.

Think that's it.

So it has been decided...
Miss Manga was clearly a dodgy car sales(wo)man in a past life, making false claims for 'bargain' prices.
(It's £8.99 here but I'm pretty sure my mum bought it on an introductory offer.)

L'Oreal I normally adore your mascaras like no other, but this one, it's safe to say I'm just not feeling...

Lesson learned:
Don't share mascara guys. You will get an eye infection be disappointed, and die.*
Also, don't let your mascara run out and have to borrow your might be this one!

*not strictly true.