Sunday, 29 June 2014

The 'So I'm Never Going to be Nicole Scherzinger But a Girl's Gotta Try' OOTD.

"I saw Nicole Scherzinger wearing nude Zara heels.
So I wore nude Zara heels."

How FIT does she look here?
What an actual babe.
I mean, if Lewis won't put a ring on it then MY GOD get me some Haribo rings and I'll make her mine in a short second.
Haribo, diamonds, mehh, same thing.
But one allows food houmous to still be budgeted for and bought.
Nicole loves it.
She told me.*
We will share some and life will be good.

Guess what?
I have her shoes on.

Her actual shoes.
Those EXACT ones.
Literally, straight from her feet, and on to my own. Still warm.**

In all seriousness though, my Daily Mail online showbiz section stalking reached new high's last month, on the apparition of the nude heels related article
It did appear, there and then, that I shamefully gained a new foot fetish, and the amount of time spent staring at the two odd five-pronged objects at the bottom of her legs, (evolution is weird) was about as healthy as my former half-jar-of-peanut-butter-on-Ryvitas-in-microwave-obsession. 

Over the next few days I spoke so frequently about my new obsession, which we shall entitle 'Shoesies: The Second Coming', (read part one here) that I even got my friends going - sending me even more fuellage in the form of an article showing Lucy Mecklenburgh hitting it first, Ray J style also donning said Shoesies.
That was it.
Enough was enough.
Screw everything.
Screw my budget.
Screw food buying.
Screw houmous. (yes, that bad)***

On to the Zara website I went...£29.99 and some pretty impressive and unexpected bank holiday delivery later, (they clearly heard my plight and wanted to shut me up before the police arrested me for website stalking) and the rest, was history.

And look...if you're a size three, (hey don't give me that look, it ain't my fault!) - you can still get hold of them, and for even less...
£19.99 baby!
You lucky small footed beings, you!

*Not strictly true but whatev's.
**Definitely not true.
*** Just plain #lies. As if I'd ever abandon houmous, ha.

What I wore:

Jumpsuit: Minnie's (Lindley, Huddersfield) £24.99 
Shoesies The Second: Zara (originally) £29.99
Belt: Old.
Necklace: New Look 
Earrings: Primark

Okay, so in another moment of houmous disregarding madness - I went on a small shopping trip, resulting in me buying cute house stuff for my non-existent future abode, (Hudds peeps - if you haven't visited 'Snug' in Lindley, don't - unless you want no money left and a large dose of house envy, snm)  and a rather nice jumpsuit, which believe it or not wasn't meant to be in the style of good old Scherzy, but I shall take the similarity willingly...ahem.

My gorgeous black and nude patterned jumpsuit was the nail in the coffin of a houmous free week, (still lying, lol) but my god it was worth it!
£24.99 really isn't bad for something so versatile and wearable.
In the small space of ten minutes I picked up what is already my favourite outfit of the Summer so far, and the outfit my mum has had to practically prise off my back before it started to smell of something other than the dregs of my remaining perfume. 
No, seriously, I used up the last of my Chloe last weekend while wearing this - I can still faintly smell it...therefore may never wash it again.
I loveeee the nude/beige print and my gawddd does it go with my heels! The skinny-ish straps are like tooootes in fashion right now, and the cut means any food baba's are hidden fully away - YEAHHHH MAN!!
The only thing is I added a small brown and very tatty belt where the elastic is at the waist, just to add a little extra something. :)
This jumpsuit was my debut purchase from the gorgeous, (and so cutely named!) Minnie's, a ladies fashion boutique which I'd heard about from several friends, but shamefully had never been to. Safe to say I'll almost definitely be returning, almost definitely soon... 

Ah here we go again; the unfortunate 'hand in hair which unintentionally looks like a phone' pose.
God I look smug, anyone would think I was on't phone to Lewis Hamilton.
Maybe I am...oooh ;)

Now looks like I dropped said phone.
If this was real life my screen would no doubt smash and I wouldn't look nearly as calm.

Now I have the jumpsuit, and I have the shoes...
All I need now is to master the art of walking so gracefully in said shoes, without either an expression of pain, or wanting to chop my feet off.
I will wear them next month for a wedding if it kills me!

Talking of, when is Lewis gonna upstage me and present Scherzy with the diamonds she deserves?
Seriously, don't make me buy those Haribo...
Screw it.

If Lewis won't wife her then maybe he will wife me? I FRICKIN WILL! 
I'm here Nicole, I'm here...

Oh Nicky -
It would be beautiful.
We can be shoe buddies for life.
What's mine is yours and all that...
...maybe I could share your entire shoe wardrobe?!
ORRRR - maybe I could borrow your hairdresser too and therefore cure my own hair envy.
I'll even use Herbal Essences for you.
Cheers babes.

(Nicole: If you read this, promise I'm not a massive stalker. You just have nice hair. And shoes.)

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Le Naked 3 Palette.

It happened again.

Last August I posted about a small miracle; the type of miracle that meant good old Hay-Zeus could turn water into wine, (the alki) and that allowed Dynamo to walk on't Thames in the style of said good old Hay-Zeus, neither getting soaked, nor contracting Typhoid or some other equally hideous waterborne disease.

No seriously though, how?

This miracle was bigger than that.
Any of that.
Bigger than the pizza I ate last week.
Bigger than my growing collection of cheap, gold necklaces from eBay.
Jesus eat your heart out man - forget his miracles, this is so much more...

I got my little MAC 'Woodwinked' eyeshadow and boy was I over the moon - see I don't win stuff, me;
I once won an art competition with no prize, and a running race where there was only myself and one other girl.
I've been entering the Daybreak/Good Morning Britain/Whatever competition weekly for like four years now, (unless the prize is a motorhome, I ain't about that life) and have won naff all.
To actually win something once for me is just beyond comprehension.

To win again?
No way.
I'm not sure what awesomeness I must have done in a past life to deserve such an honour, but the day that Stacey's little tweet arrived in my feed was, well...a good day.
In fact I squealed quite loudly, almost deafening a non-make up wearing friend of mine, who then had to sit through my endless descriptions of rosy shades and why a piece of metal with a few coloured powders in, is indeed so special.
It totally is, right?

See...I had won *drumroll* the extremely beautiful Urban Decay 'Naked 3' palette, and my gawdddd it is gorgeous.

So believe it or not I'm actually gonna get on with this.
I'm saying this now, but you know me...

First off let's address the amazing prettiness going on in that there pink packaging.
It shines.
It's pink.
It has this cool embossed design thing going on which looks particularly awesome and nice on my shelf, and it shines just so nicely in the sun like it did on the day I took my photo's yurrr...
Photography extraordinaire I will be yo!
iPhone crew.
Also, it's sturdy, like I am in no doubt that I could drop it and both it and it's contents would remain in-tact...
I won't be testing this purposely, but more than likely one day soon I will be able to confirm or deny this.
Next up, you open the palette, and you're greeted with the familiar mahoosive mirror, present in its predecessor, (we like, yes?) and the double ended synthetic shadow brush which is good, but like, I almost never use...
Just me?
Once you get past the hardware, it's on to the good stuff - the software, and the real reason you go 'ooooooh' on opening this palette.

Now, at first glance this palette terrified me. 
I mean, I always believed the notion that any form of pink near my eyes would make my look like I'd had an emotional day, a run in with some onions, or some form of infection...
It was not lust at first sight shall we say...
But a few months, (and lots of blog post reading) down the line, I was both in love and convinced that the rose tones hues of the Naked 3 were right for me!
See a lot of the shades are pink toned, (ranging from warm-cool, light-dark) but not scary at all - there's no Barbie and definitely no conjunctivitis-like colours present.
We're all good...

Strange: an off white, slightly pink toned matte shade, perfect if you like a matte highlight.
Dust: metallic pale pink glitter shade - one of my favourites for across the lid, but falls out all over!
Burnout: a light satin peachy-pink shade, lovely across the lid.
Limit: A dusky but pale pink matte shade, perfect if you want a subtly defined crease...I prefer the darker 'Nooner', but then I like my eye drama.

Buzz: A true rose pink glitter shade - again beware of fall-out, but it's gorgeous!
Trick: another glitter but this time a peachy-copper tone, I LOVE this one. 
Nooner: Darker than 'Limit'- my favourite to darken out the crease, a buildable, pink-brown matte shade.
Liar: The first of the darker shades; a deep rose gold satin/glitter.

Factory: A warm brown satin shade with small glitter particles.
Mugshot: a satin taupe shade with a cool, frosted finish.
Darkside: Another satin but much deeper - almost purple hued, again with a slightly frosted finish.
Blackheart: An odd one - like a matte black but with tiny flecks of glitter? Red glitter though...ooooh pretty.

Lid: 'Buzz'. Crease/lower lashline: 'Nooner'. Inner crease: 'Factory'
Inner corner: MAC MSF 'Soft and Gentle'.
Oh and one more thing: 
This palette comes with four sample sized primers, (Original, Eden, Sin, and Anti-Ageing) and for god's sake USE THEM!
The picture below shows the shade 'Dust' both with and without primer, I'll be honest and brutal when I say that without primer 'Dust' literally becomes dust and umm...dusts off.
Oh and without primer your cheeks will become glitter balls 'cos I'm telling ya that stuff wants to escape down your face like some sort of shiny rebel, and it WILL...

You know those times you can see a speck of glitter on your cheek out the corner of your eye but just can't quite find it?
For three days?
No matter how much you scrub your face?
Yes. This.

I ain't about having chunky pink glitter on my cheeks man, what are we now - eight?
Glitter make-up died with the cancellation of my once beloved 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' magazine subscription.
...and my hot pink Barry M Dazzle Dust phase.

Don't do it kids.

(l) 'Dust' without primer, (r) 'Dust' with primer.
Snm.'s safe to say I'm enjoying my beautiful Naked 3 experience, and I have to say to any doubters out there - the pink is neutral enough to work!
Uh-huh no conjunctivitis looking eyes on my face peeps - Urban Decay this must have been no mean feat, but you done good! 
A pink toned palette that will genuinely suit all skin types and tones is something of a mission impossible - and when it's this pretty?
Ain't no-one gonna turn it down.

Oooh didn't I do well there?
Slyly high five-ing myself for my own sheer strength and ability to shut my cake hole.
Kind of.

To summarise:
1. Wear primer.
2. The Daybreak/Good Morning Britain competition still eludes me.
3. Dynamo clearly is Jesus.

...And I have pretty Rose Gold tones on my eyes maynnn!!

Thank you Stacey doll, I'm one lucky girl. 
Love you lots <3 xxx