Thursday, 21 November 2013

L'Oreal False Lash Telescopic Mascara: Review

So I'm not dead.
I'm in fact very much alive and kicking, (or not, seeing as I think Body Combat has finished off my right knee) and ready to rock and roll... (again, potentially not possible given current right knee situation.) yeeee-hawww!

I'm merely a bad beauty blogger. 
'Got my boyfriend in the shower'

Uh-huh do you remember that song?
Well it lies.
It's also naff as owt, but, naturally, stuck firmly in my head.

I'm becoming sorely tempted to re-word it and apply it to my own situation.
I'm a bad beauty blogger and my shower is empty, waiting for me to stand in it later when I deem myself to have written enough blog postage to leave my spot.

Leaving my spot has been something I've done a bit too much of in the last couple of weeks, and my poor page has grown a couple of cobwebs.

A bit like the mascara I'm reviewing for you; I've postponed this review for so long that's now run out and I'm onto the next one.

A while ago...make that about three months now maybe, I decided to rekindle my long lost love affair with L'Oreal mascaras, namely their Telescopic range, seeing as a.) I used to love L'Oreal almost unhealthily and it's been a long time, b.) I was fed up of big fat brushes and needed something less clumsy, and c.) Anna from 'Vivianna Does Makeup' told me to...

Off to Boots I went, on the hunt for a new mascara...and it didn't take long for my eyes set upon the little silver piece of majesty more commonly known as the L'Oreal 'Telescopic' mascara. It's now *cue excitement* now been re-vamped as the 'False Lash Telescopic', which for lash addicts like myself, means that like a flower would stretch to the sun, my lashes practically scooped up the product from the shelves themselves, each lash acting like a finger to grasp it, eagerly awaiting their new false lash look.

Lol jk my lashes ain't that long.
And I'm now almost certain to dream of creepy mascara stealing spider leg lashes tonight.

Needless to say, I bought it, and I was not disappointed you guys!

L'Oreal 'False Lash Telescopic' makes my lashes appear longer and more plentiful - they are separated in a way I often find hard to achieve with my sadly lacking stumps, it's 'proper' black, ('Magnetic Black' apparently? *conjours more disturbing images of lashes grabbing mascara on their own, this time by way of a crazy magnetic field caused by the mere colour of the product*) and there's no annoying flaking or transfer.
It even does well in my spin classes, ahem.
As far as the 'false lash' effect goes - I kind of disagree. While it does make my lashes longer and darker, they lack volume, which for me spells out a big 'N-O' when it comes to looking false.
Unless you were going for those kind of pointless 'natural' false lashes...which let's be honest ladies (and gents) is naaaat the first thing you think of when someone says the word 'falsies' to you.
I saw very little sign of the fibres which were supposedly inside, and, well - I like fibres, I know when I can see them that I'm onto a winner.
I imagine the fibres must be as delicate as the brush...
Talking of, I kind of love, (and now miss given that I've returned to my Rimmel 'Scandaleyes Lycra Flex' - one amazing Boots offer freebie!) the brush; it's thin and precise, and means that THANK THE LORDDDD I don't have to spend five minutes repairing the damage done to my eyelid once I've slathered a load of black accidentally everywhere.
Maybe just two instead...
 The teeny tiny bristles get in every nook, cranny, corner, you name it - and unlike the bad-boy brushes I've used this year, I never once poked myself in the eye with it.

The packaging is sooooooooooo nice!
Don't you just love it?
You know me and sparkly things, I just can't cope - so on seeing a sleek, silver and extremely shiny object such as this, you know I'm gonna go a bit wild.

It's like Simon Cowell and his dollar sign eyes all over again.
Nuff said.

Overall, I do really like this mascara, but for a pricey £10.99 for 9ml, I probably wouldn't get it again...shame really, because L'Oreal I do love your mascaras maynnn!!
I can't quite remember how this compares to the original, (which I rinsed the life out of back in the day) but I definitely see why my less mascara experienced self liked it so much.
I have to say though, for a daytime look and/or a more natural look - this is your ideal product, aside from the lack of false lash-alikeness, it's pretty darn fab!!
And it looks purty in your make-up bag.

Anyhoo...sadly in my absence, my L'Oreal False Lash Telescopic has reached it's point of destruction, and has gone to the mascara heaven in the sky/bin.
It had a good and full life, it was used everyday...but sadly won't be on my eyes again any time soon!

For now, seeing as you know I love a good blog singalong, I'll leave you with the squeals of Princess Superstar, and the song that will just not budge from my head!

Might have edited the errr...words just a little bit ;)

Altogether now.

'I spend six quid an hour,
I'm a bad beauty blogger,
Got my products in the shower.
I spend six quid an hour,
I'm a bad beauty blogger got my products in the shower.'

I won't give up the day job.

Song = Stuck in head.
Me = Sat in warm spot avoiding the shower.
Boyfriend = Also avoiding the shower.
Right knee = Throbbing.
Mascara = Good.

Blog post = Done.


  1. Looks lovely, how long do your lashes look Holly! I'm more of a fan of volumising mascaras as I have long spindly lashes but this looks great for a daytime look
    p.s trust you to get that song in there! x

    1. Rosalie your lashes are killer amazing! Shall we swap haha?

      And could I not ;)?

  2. Thank you for nearly bringing me to tears (LMAO). Absolutely loving your blog - a breath of fresh air, humour and honesty in a dull dull corporate world.
    ...and yes, THAT song is now firmly stuck in my head although I seem to have remixed it with 'Woo-hah I got you all in check' by Busta Rhymes. Random.
    Thank you for taking your time to do this blog - much appreciated :-)

    1. Awww wowww thank you so much! That honestly makes my day and blogging worthwhile...I'm so glad you like it :)

      P.S choooooon!! Haha

  3. I think I might need this in my life... By might I mean I'm going to go buy it tomorrow. I'M SOLD.

    Megan xxx
    Thumbelina Lillie | UK Beauty Blog

  4. Wow this looks incredible! Your eyelashes look amazing, might defo have to have a look.


  5. Damn you for putting that song in my head.

    Your eyelashes are amazing! I really need some new mascara, my eyelashes are shit thought. They are very long but also very thing. Weh.

    Corinne x

  6. Oh wow, this gives killer lashes! I can see why you love it :)


  7. So I am googling reviews of this mascara and up (oop) this pops!! Shit a brick Holly you can't make me laugh so much-you'll split my stitches


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