Tanya Burr Nail Polish Collection: Review

You know those annoying phone calls you get 27636251 times a week, informing you that you may be owed thousands of pounds because of a loan you never took out ten years ago?

Yeah, them.

Well, let me introduce you to three letters very similar, and possibly even more annoying than the evils-down-phone-inducing acronym that is 'PPI'...

Ladies and gents, I am, of course, referring to 'PPN'

aka

'Pillow-Print-Nails'

The bane of my life, and the sole reason why this blog post has taken me four weeks to write.

Four.

Talk about missing the flipping boat.

Yes you guys, as I explained in my last post, I have a chronic problem involving going to bed waaay too soon after painting my nails, only to wake up with an unwanted criss-crossed pattern spoiling the sleek finish of my already, (let's not kid ourselves here) pretty poor manicure.

Let's just say it's a good job I think baba penguins are cute, 'cos there's only so much grey-brown a girl can wear on her nails when Spring is coming and the sun is starting to show itself...

Four times in a row I've worn this you guys.

Four.

Just so I can take some blumin' decent photo's of 'Penguin Chick' which aren't covered in pillow-print!

I'm a dedicated mo'fo' yo.

All ranting and 'PPN' problems aside, this nail polish is actually ridiculously exciting; umm it's by beauty queen and all round goddess Tanya Burr, I mean HELLOOOOOO?!

I've only watched her on YouTube since, well, the dawn of time her channel, and marvelled over things such as how gorgeous 'Woodwinked' eyeshadow looks on her, and how her have lips have the ability to pull off not only any colour, but make that colour look awesome in a way my non-existent top lip can't.

Realising I should stop there in fear of sounding like a crazed psycho-stalker, and reassure Tanya that if she should ever happen to come to Huddersfield, (umm, why would you not?) she shouldn't need extra security...

*Looks around shiftily.*

:|

So when I heard Tanya was bringing out her own lipgloss and nail polish range I was beyond excited!

Not gonna lie - the lipgloss not so much.

Can't be doing with the stuff, regardless of whether it would make my lips look like Tanya's.

It wasn't long before my insane hyena-like drooling became too much, and my very first Feel Unique order was placed, sending two of these gorgeous nail polish shades hurtling my way...in't back of a Royal Mail van.

'Mini Marshmallows' (avec sneaky glittered-up accent nail)

The day they came through my letter box, well...it was a good 'un.
First off I had decided on the shade 'Mini Marshmallows', because I kid you not I barely own any pink polish whatsoever! Not only that but pinky nudes are so on trend right now, it makes me twitch uncomfortably when I realise I own not a single item in this colour...

I mean it's kind of a travesty - especially for a girly girl a la moi, but somehow I just never seem to wear it?

OBVSSS, I decided this had to change, if only to stop my twitching left eye gaining newly formed and un-even wrinkles, and into my basket it went...

'Mini Marshmallows' is exactly the shade it's amazingly cute name describes - a pale, pastel pink reminiscent of, well, marshmallows (genius description there Holly, well done). It's a fairly subtle and even quite classy hue, which for pink-o-phobes like myself, is the perfect way to nod to a trend.

As a polish, I really like it; it's slightly runnier consistency allows it to be built up in thin coats, which my god is usually impossible for me!

Not gonna lie, I did initially underestimate its runniness, and blobbed it on the kitchen table.

Soz mum.

This means *ta-daaa* for once in my life my nails are relatively even, and at a slightly lower risk of PPN...

That is until you realise it's not quite opaque and therefore needs three coats, therefore the PPN risk returns*.

*Successfully demonstrated in all it's glory on the second swatch picture down on my middle finger.

Damn.

:|

I had a relatively different experience with my second, (and slightly less phobia inducing) shade, the gorgeously named 'Penguin Chick', (ah-yes I have them *cough* limited edition version, missing the 'k'...lol)

I honestly believe this shade could have been the most hideous shade of mushy pea green, and I'd have still bought it purely for its name...you go Tanya ;).

I can only describe 'Penguin Chick' as being greige; neither grey, nor brown, and neither warm, nor cool toned - but extremely interesting and unique.

Good. Cos I've not been wearing it a solid month, snm.

The consistency is somewhat thicker than 'Mini Marshmallows' and therefore more akin to what I'm used to,

 (no blobbing incidents, you'll be pleased to hear mum)

and while this means I end up applying coats thicker than your average polar bear, I at least needed less of them to achieve an opaque finish! 

Yeyyy!!

Both polishes, despite their varying consistencies, dried relatively fast, (although sadly, without the ability to withstand material of the cotton variety) and lasted roughly four-to-five days without any huge chipping, before my crazed compulsion to pick took over...enough said.

Finish-wise, I always wear a top coat to add shine and strength, but both were sleek and shiny enough, (pillow incidents aside) to wear without.

Packaging-wise, I love the square shape, as it stands out from the rest of my collection, and again I'd like to use the word 'classy', (oooh) but my god I must be weak, cos those lids just don't wanna come off?!

Is it just me?

Not only could I not get either lid off, (enter mum *and most avid reader* and a tea-towel, to the rescue) but I can't blumin' get the things back on either.

LOL.

Now they are on, they're slightly off centre, and it's only a matter of time before my obsessive compulsive subconscious insists they be removed them from my view, and therefore removed from my nail polish shelf (yes, this exists)...I may not sleep otherwise.

Note to self: Book onto extra Body Pump class this week. 

Must. Get. Stronger. 

'Penguin Chick'

Overall, for the mightily small price of £5.99 on Feel Unique (and in Superdrug I believe), I reckon you can't go wrong with these gorgeous little pots of goodness, they're aptly and well quite frankly awesomely named, and though they vary, are lovely to apply and wear...even with added texturisation, ahem.

Reet you guys, after four long weeks, I've finally finished!

Thank GAWDDD for that you know, cos in all honesty this supposed 'heatwave' ain't quite reaching Huddersfield, and the days have been as grey as my nails right now.
I blame them.
No fault of Tanya's, I just do.

I'm thinking if I switch it up for a bit of pastel pink prettiness in the form of 'Mini Marshmallows', the sunshine may re-appear and life will be awesome.
Even more fitting would be the gorgeous mint colour Tanya posted on her Twitter account...it made my hyena-like state temporarily return, and I'm <this> close to Feel Unique-ing that bad boy, and most likely several more.
The sky can be mint, right?

For now though, I'm off to bed, (PPN risk free as my nails are still greige) before my phone dares to ring, most likely with a call from a company robot in Ecuador or some shiz, trying to give me free PPI money.
(remind me why I'm complaining again?)

Maybe tomorrow night I'll unleash my daring side and sample a new, Springtime colour in a bid try and defeat the evil, nail ruining beasts that are my pillows, and return the sky to a colour I deem acceptable.

We shall see...