Another Asian Wedding: OOTD

God this is refreshing.

I have a voice again!

Sure, it's in the form of a keyboard and a bunch of typed words but in all seriousness, this feels good!

Basically...I've lost my voice.

Don't know how or why, but it's gone.

Left me.

Deserted me just like Rose deserted Jack on that plank of wood, saying she'd never let go and then doing just that five minutes later when he's snuffed it.

#thesehoesaintloyal

I'm 99% convinced it's some sort of blog sympathy karma, punishing me for my lack of posts and forcing my laptop upon me when I've had such little inspiration of late, despite some pretty awesome blog photo's laying un-used in my camera roll.

Trusty iPhone camera done good peeps. 

You'll see them one day, I promise...

The further 1% believes my lack of voice may be down to occupational hazard, and suddenly not shutting up after six weeks of comparative silence.

I've never felt so trapped!

I mean like about twenty million other people out there I full on balled my eyes out at Musharaf on 'Educating Yorkshire' last year, trying to overcome his stammer, and good god now I see even more clearly what an amazingly patient and determined character he is.

Two days with no voice and I'm done for.

Mushy, mate, I salute you.

I tried to perform my best 'Black Widow' karaoke sesh in the car earlier, and all I got was something between a whisper, a squeak and a growl.

Shamefully, that was during Iggy's part.

And she doesn't even bloody sing! 

I mean it's not like I was even being adventurous here; normally I'd be aiming for those Sam Smith high notes and convincing myself that I sound half decent, despite sounding like his banshee equivalent.

Today,  I wouldn't even be able to convince the money spider living near my wing-mirror of such things.

It wouldn't have been able to hear me.

...aaaaand breathe.

Phew...

Okay so finally I can shut up and get on to the good stuff, and my real reason for blogging today.

Simply, I miss my lovely friend Sahrah who recently got married and relocated to the wrong other side of the Pennines, away from me, our buddies, and Ali Shaan's pizzas, (snm) and thought I'd blog a little part of her day.

:)

It's just over a year since I last blogged the marriage of two of my friends, Asian style, and my god what a day it was for me - I was living the dream well and truly, and wearing one of the most beautiful sari's I have ever seen.

Seriously, come see!!

Now of course I'll take any opportunity to live out my Princess Jasmine dream once again, so when my lovely Sahrah told me her amazing news/shielded herself from me jumping on her in wild excitement, *ahem*, it was decided that a shopping trip was in order! 

It wasn't a long trip.

Nopee, within possibly about five minutes - and therefore a record short shopping trip, my dream suit had been selected, and the only thing able to calm down my extreme excitement was a delicious slice of the aforementioned Ali Shaan's pizza.

Which just happens to be like right next door to the clothes shop, totes meant to be...

I chose a stunning suit in a graduated ombre coral pink, decorated with jewel coloured turquoise, orange, gold and purple strips, and finished with an embroidered piece layered over the top of the dress - literally too gorgeous for words...and EEEEK it was mine!

Fast forward a couple of months, some stitching, and not nearly enough Ali Shaan's later, and the big day was here.

On went my suit, 'big' went my hair, and 'flicked' went more liquid eyeliner than I've worn since err...the other, slightly less 'Princess-y' time I played dress up.

I was almost ready!

The finishing touch came in the form a beautiful diamante tikka, worn in my hair and falling down my forehead, bought from Sahrah's sister Sanna's shop, 'Sparkle Hijab's and Accessories'...

Beautiful it looked, although it did actually fall off my forehead part way through, and had to be 'fixed' in.

If you could see how many bobby pins I had in my fringe - LOOOOOOOL!!

That is all.

Screw Kate Middleton, screw Jasmine - I don't care how many Prince's or magic carpets they have, I was for that day only, a Princess.

:)

The STUNNING couple.

I'm imagining the babies, and they're adorable...no pressure Sahrah.

Pressure's on you too Munir, Aunty Holly awaits *cough cough* 

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it appears my poorly throat is catching.

My laptop, ladies, (and sneaky gents) is sick, and the letter 'k' is sticking.

My poor 'k' is failing me even worse than my Rita Ora notes.

And let's be real here, her lines are hardly challenging, even for us banshees.

I'm bashing my 'K' harder than I battered a persistent fly at 5.20am in Poland this Summer with 'Heat' magazine, forcing it to work, because unlike my voice, I will not lose this battle!!

YOU SHALL NOT REMOVE MY LETTERS YOU EVIL VIRUS YOU!!

At least I have the memories here of Sahrah's special day to make me smile and cure my silent keyboard bashing rage.

Hopefully along with my rage, it can cure my throat?

God dammit - I'll be forever condemned to bopping my head along with wordless music.

 'Animals' is still a tune, right?

GAHHHHHHHHH!!

:(

RIP my 'K', my voice, and Matilda the Polish fly.

Amen.

P.S Miss you Sahrah <3
P.P.S Sorry Munir, she's mine.

Special Days, and a Lickle Thank You...

Two years ago tonight, as I turned the big 22, I sat on my comfy brown sofa and spent much of my night, as every night, reading blogs...no Blogger account, no Bloglovin' feed, I simply had a list of blog names that I liked, chilling in the 'Notes' section of my iPhone, waiting for my daily visit via Google...

I don't remember much more about that birthday - curry was involved and it was nice, but it was a strange time; a time which no longer exists.

The very next day, September 1st 2012, 'Holly Mixtures' was born.

See I loved reading blogs, and for as long as I could remember I had loved to write.

I once fancied myself as the next J.K Rowling, but lol who are we kidding here...?

Sometimes I'd buy a product or an item of clothing and the accompanying blog post would be writing itself in my head, I knew exactly what I'd say and how I'd say it...I just never did.

Until that day :)

From the moment I put finger to keypad I have lovedddd blogging, every single second of it - the photo's, the reading, the writing of course, and the amazing blogging buddies I've 'met' on the way...

I really do love you all <3

Last year was difficult. 

On my one year blogging anniversary I put up a giveaway in celebration, it wasn't extravagant or anything amazing, but it was something...I wanted to show my appreciation.

You guys were the support blanket you never knew about, and reading your blogs, chatting to you on Twitter, and seeing your comments made my day, my week and my month <3.

My one-a-week blog posts were the focus of my weekends; my posts take a while to write, and they kept me out of the way.

Other than the lack of time, I lacked, (and still lack!) the products required for a stable blogging schedule; I owned/own less make-up than your average twelve year old and/or non-cross-dressing-male, (seriously, you'd be shocked) and this in itself has made more regular blogging a no-no, but I didn't care, I could put everything into my one-a-week posts and know it was okay.

2014 was born and so was a new chapter in my life.

Screw that it was a whole new flippin' book!

The run up to my second blogging birthday has been quiet, and I'd like to apologise for this, but things are just different now.

I blog for pleasure as always, and as always time is short and precious, but as strange as it seems even the nights I'm not busy these days seem to be filled with 'something else', I guess perhaps a peace which no longer only surfaces when I'm writing.

Today marks the eve of my little blog's second birthday, (and in fact is my actual 24th birthday) and I guess I just felt like a chat.

Tonight, sat on my parents' not-quite-as-comfy-but-so-much-better cream sofa, I have spent a very frustrating two hours editing photo's for a blog post which has now been slotted back into my growing 'drafts' section in favour of this one...because I'm the kind of girl who once I get something in my head, it stays there and won't leave until I let it out.

E.g. this post here.

Have a read.

2014 has been a lucky year for me, I've spent time with my amazing family and friends, I've been on two incredible holidays, seen two very lovely people get married, and just this week bought my first proper car.

Blog wise, I've recently hit both 250 followers, AND passed 100,00 views, which is utterly INCREDIBLE, and despite the current lack of giveaway owed to being fully a**e-raped by car insurance, I genuinely, sincerely don't know what to say, other than from the bottom of my heart, and for everything...

THANK YOU.

<3

Soap and Glory 'Thick and Fast' HD Mascara: Review

I bring this post to you, ladies, (and gents) from a dark, dark place...

I'm sat typing this in 'Sweaty Mess Mode'.

I don't need a wee right now, therefore a shower is just not good enough a reason for me to remove my aching backside from the sofa, and attempt the journey to the bathroom.

My nails have the remains of what used to be orange nail polish on them, chipped to within an inch of their short lives. 

Short due to the excessive snapping they've endured recently, without even the smallest attempt by myself to salvage the remains and file them into any form of neat shape.

Nail polish remover is a myth to me.

My lashes have been without mascara for over two weeks - partially owed to the fact I have lash extensions on, (yeah bwoiii, review coming soon*) and partly due to the amount of sweat which has poured down my face of late, washing away almost all traces of anything which could have been deemed to make me look human.

Niiiiiiiiice.

To add to this, on my eyelids is what remains of my most treasured eyeshadow colours; all three of my day-to-day, (and night, I won't lie) MAC eyeshadows have reached the end of their lives.

Poor 'All That Glitters' was the first to go, all that remains in its little pan is a few small specks of pink-toned sparkle, literally just the glitter that gave it its name.

'Soba' and 'Naked Lunch' are clinging on to the edges of their silver abode for dear life, fearful of my eyeshadow brush.

Any day soon they'll be joining poor 'All That Glitters' in 'ahhh sheeeet we've crumbled' heaven.

Basically, in my blogging absence, I have become some sort of monster, neglecting not only this little space of goodness which I genuinely love so much, but also myself.

(Alongside gallivanting off to Poland, a few weddings, and, well...the gym.) 

In fact the only item of make-up which I have purchased in the last six weeks is a replacement mascara, and actually pretty much the only mascara I've used in the entirety of 2014, therefore the only item I'm able to review right now.

I'm not a beauty blogger.

I'm a mess.

Appalling brush picture. Nice rocks mum, just what I always wanted.

Well...actually, no, don't give up on me, not just yet.

I like doing this too much.

Give me a wee few minutes of non-rambliness to explain my real reason for this post:

Soap and Glory's 'Thick and Fast' mascara, the high definition version...

Yeahh, see?

I can include proper stuff you know!

Basically, recently a few months ago, I was reading laaaats of blog posts from laaaats of lovely bloggers, and one brand just kept on popping up.

That brand, was 'Soap and Glory', and shamefully, I'd never used anything at all by them.

Nothing.

Nada.

NOWT.

I decided this had to change, and therefore my advantage points took a beating (bare skint yo) in favour of my need for a new mascara which cost marginally more than I'd usually care to pay... £10.50 (for 10ml) - only justifiable 'cos people a.) seemed to like it, and b.) the packaging is really pretty and eye catching and I like TOTTTTES 'get' their sense of humour. 

It's like I know them.

No, seriously though, the packaging is GORRRRGEOUS.

Who doesn't love having a good golden shiny cylinder depositing black goo on their eyelashes?

I actually mean it.

Amusing box and nice tube aside, we all know it's whats inside that counts, and it doesn't disappoint!

First up, le brush.

The brush is unique; I mean, no, it's not. It's still a black bristly thing on the end of a plastic stick, but it's like, missing a bit!

(Actually, it claims to be seven-sided, but I can defo only count like one round bit that randomly stops in the middle.)

It's as though Jesus himself has parted the bristles, sea style, to reveal a little mascara application trick which appeals to my unsteady hand in a massive way. Basically there is a V-shaped ridge disturbing the usual round shape of the bristles, which wouldn't photograph nearly well enough on my phone to show you.

 A quick google search tells me you other nifty bloggers out there with much better cameras still didn't fare massively well here, I couldn't quite find/nab a photo which quite demo'ed it well enough.

Got high standards me, you know.

 I also now see how poor my pictures actually are, damn.

Anyways, in summary the brush kicks ass. 

I use the edge of the V-groove to do my bottom lashes, and it goes on a dream. 

Product wise, this mascara genuinely has one of THE best consistencies I have ever come across; it's not too thick or runny, too gloopy, too wet, too dry, it doesn't clump, it doesn't flake, it stays put all day, it volumises, lengthens, builds, defines, intensifies - the lot!

I can confirm that those little legends who wrote this stuff on't box didn't lie. 

Serious, they even disclosed using lash inserts on their images.

It does all those things, and I love it!

The secret? 

Must be that collagen...now I don't fancy it in my lips or owt bizarre like that, but on my lashes GOOD GOD GIVE ME MOREEE!

Also, colour wise, I purchased the shade 'Film Noir' which my B in GCSE French tells me means it's black.

My eyes can also confirm that it is black.

Don't get how it relates to a film, but whatev's...

To summarise, I love this, and while wearing my lash extensions I've actually somewhat missed the pleasure that this was to apply every day (apart from on watering eye days snm).

I also feel pretty happy that I've now done my first blog post in more weeks than I care to count!

Oh sweet blogging niggle at the back of my minf, how I've missed shutting you up...

That aside, I'm still sat here in 'Sweaty Mess Mode', still avoiding both the bathroom, and the nail polish remover.

I'm also slightly tired, and the furry cushion next to me is starting to look like an inviting place for my head to rest...

:|

Oh gosh...and there it is.

It begins; I've said it, I want the fur.

I'm afraid this could potentially be stage one of my ever looming 'cat lady' status; I even thought a dog was cute last week and voluntarily stroked it.

This is unusual.

:|

It's like they know.

They're subconsciously hooking their claws into my psyche and making me like them.

Give it a year and I'll have my first kitten.

Give it ten and I'll love my growing collection more than people.

Give it thirty and I'll be blogging, about my favourite kitty-wear, and which feline adorned cups and saucers I've added to my lust list.

Somebody** help me...

P.S A Sheba advert just came on the telly and I actually paid attention. 

Feel like it's a sign and I should stock up.

Damn.

*not too soon, this is me we're talking about.

**Who isn't offended by my ragged appearance and/or smell.

(Also preferably male, single, and not a weirdo. Thanks.)

The 'So I'm Never Going to be Nicole Scherzinger But a Girl's Gotta Try' OOTD.

"I saw Nicole Scherzinger wearing nude Zara heels.

So I wore nude Zara heels."

Seriously.

How FIT does she look here?

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

What an actual babe.

I mean, if Lewis won't put a ring on it then MY GOD get me some Haribo rings and I'll make her mine in a short second.

Haribo, diamonds, mehh, same thing.

But one allows food houmous to still be budgeted for and bought.

Nicole loves it.

She told me.*

We will share some and life will be good.

And.

And.

Guess what?

I have her shoes on.

Her actual shoes.

Those EXACT ones.

Literally, straight from her feet, and on to my own. Still warm.**

In all seriousness though, my Daily Mail online showbiz section stalking reached new high's last month, on the apparition of the nude heels related article. 

It did appear, there and then, that I shamefully gained a new foot fetish, and the amount of time spent staring at the two odd five-pronged objects at the bottom of her legs, (evolution is weird) was about as healthy as my former half-jar-of-peanut-butter-on-Ryvitas-in-microwave-obsession. 

Over the next few days I spoke so frequently about my new obsession, which we shall entitle 'Shoesies: The Second Coming', (read part one here) that I even got my friends going - sending me even more fuellage in the form of an article showing Lucy Mecklenburgh hitting it first, Ray J style also donning said Shoesies.

That was it.

Enough was enough.

Screw everything.

Screw my budget.

Screw food buying.

Screw houmous. (yes, that bad)***

On to the Zara website I went...£29.99 and some pretty impressive and unexpected bank holiday delivery later, (they clearly heard my plight and wanted to shut me up before the police arrested me for website stalking) and the rest, was history.

And look...if you're a size three, (hey don't give me that look, it ain't my fault!) - you can still get hold of them, and for even less...

£19.99 baby!

You lucky small footed beings, you!

*Not strictly true but whatev's.

**Definitely not true.

*** Just plain #lies. As if I'd ever abandon houmous, ha.

What I wore:

Jumpsuit: Minnie's (Lindley, Huddersfield) £24.99 

Shoesies The Second: Zara (originally) £29.99

Belt: Old.

Necklace: New Look 

Earrings: Primark

Okay, so in another moment of houmous disregarding madness - I went on a small shopping trip, resulting in me buying cute house stuff for my non-existent future abode, (Hudds peeps - if you haven't visited 'Snug' in Lindley, don't - unless you want no money left and a large dose of house envy, snm)  and a rather nice jumpsuit, which believe it or not wasn't meant to be in the style of good old Scherzy, but I shall take the similarity willingly...ahem.

My gorgeous black and nude patterned jumpsuit was the nail in the coffin of a houmous free week, (still lying, lol) but my god it was worth it!
£24.99 really isn't bad for something so versatile and wearable.

In the small space of ten minutes I picked up what is already my favourite outfit of the Summer so far, and the outfit my mum has had to practically prise off my back before it started to smell of something other than the dregs of my remaining perfume. 

No, seriously, I used up the last of my Chloe last weekend while wearing this - I can still faintly smell it...therefore may never wash it again.

I loveeee the nude/beige print and my gawddd does it go with my heels! The skinny-ish straps are like tooootes in fashion right now, and the cut means any food baba's are hidden fully away - YEAHHHH MAN!!

The only thing is I added a small brown and very tatty belt where the elastic is at the waist, just to add a little extra something. :)

This jumpsuit was my debut purchase from the gorgeous, (and so cutely named!) Minnie's, a ladies fashion boutique which I'd heard about from several friends, but shamefully had never been to. Safe to say I'll almost definitely be returning, almost definitely soon... 

Ah here we go again; the unfortunate 'hand in hair which unintentionally looks like a phone' pose.
God I look smug, anyone would think I was on't phone to Lewis Hamilton.
Maybe I am...oooh ;)

Now looks like I dropped said phone.
If this was real life my screen would no doubt smash and I wouldn't look nearly as calm.

Now I have the jumpsuit, and I have the shoes...

All I need now is to master the art of walking so gracefully in said shoes, without either an expression of pain, or wanting to chop my feet off.

I will wear them next month for a wedding if it kills me!

Talking of, when is Lewis gonna upstage me and present Scherzy with the diamonds she deserves?

Seriously, don't make me buy those Haribo...

Mehh...

Screw it.

If Lewis won't wife her then maybe he will wife me? I FRICKIN WILL! 

I'm here Nicole, I'm here...

Oh Nicky -

It would be beautiful.

We can be shoe buddies for life.

What's mine is yours and all that...

Omg EEEEEE...

...maybe I could share your entire shoe wardrobe?!

(dies)

ORRRR - maybe I could borrow your hairdresser too and therefore cure my own hair envy.

I'll even use Herbal Essences for you.

Cheers babes.

(Nicole: If you read this, promise I'm not a massive stalker. You just have nice hair. And shoes.)

Le Naked 3 Palette.

It happened again.

Last August I posted about a small miracle; the type of miracle that meant good old Hay-Zeus could turn water into wine, (the alki) and that allowed Dynamo to walk on't Thames in the style of said good old Hay-Zeus, neither getting soaked, nor contracting Typhoid or some other equally hideous waterborne disease.

No seriously though, how?

This miracle was bigger than that.

Any of that.

Bigger than the pizza I ate last week.

Bigger than my growing collection of cheap, gold necklaces from eBay.

Jesus eat your heart out man - forget his miracles, this is so much more...

 I ONLY WENT AND WON A COMPETITION DIDN'T I?!

Yep.

I got my little MAC 'Woodwinked' eyeshadow and boy was I over the moon - see I don't win stuff, me;

I once won an art competition with no prize, and a running race where there was only myself and one other girl.
I've been entering the Daybreak/Good Morning Britain/Whatever competition weekly for like four years now, (unless the prize is a motorhome, I ain't about that life) and have won naff all.

To actually win something once for me is just beyond comprehension.

But...

To win again?

No way.

I'm not sure what awesomeness I must have done in a past life to deserve such an honour, but the day that Stacey's little tweet arrived in my feed was, well...a good day.

In fact I squealed quite loudly, almost deafening a non-make up wearing friend of mine, who then had to sit through my endless descriptions of rosy shades and why a piece of metal with a few coloured powders in, is indeed so special.

It totally is, right?

See...I had won *drumroll* the extremely beautiful Urban Decay 'Naked 3' palette, and my gawdddd it is gorgeous.
 <3 

     

So believe it or not I'm actually gonna get on with this.

Lol.

I'm saying this now, but you know me...

First off let's address the amazing prettiness going on in that there pink packaging.

It shines.

It's pink.

It has this cool embossed design thing going on which looks particularly awesome and nice on my shelf, and it shines just so nicely in the sun like it did on the day I took my photo's yurrr...

Photography extraordinaire I will be yo!

iPhone crew.

Also, it's sturdy, like I am in no doubt that I could drop it and both it and it's contents would remain in-tact...

I won't be testing this purposely, but more than likely one day soon I will be able to confirm or deny this.

Next up, you open the palette, and you're greeted with the familiar mahoosive mirror, present in its predecessor, (we like, yes?) and the double ended synthetic shadow brush which is good, but like, I almost never use...

Just me?

Once you get past the hardware, it's on to the good stuff - the software, and the real reason you go 'ooooooh' on opening this palette.

THE SHADOWS.

<3

Now, at first glance this palette terrified me. 

I mean, I always believed the notion that any form of pink near my eyes would make my look like I'd had an emotional day, a run in with some onions, or some form of infection...

It was not lust at first sight shall we say...

But a few months, (and lots of blog post reading) down the line, I was both in love and convinced that the rose tones hues of the Naked 3 were right for me!

See a lot of the shades are pink toned, (ranging from warm-cool, light-dark) but not scary at all - there's no Barbie and definitely no conjunctivitis-like colours present.

We're all good...

Strange: an off white, slightly pink toned matte shade, perfect if you like a matte highlight.

Dust: metallic pale pink glitter shade - one of my favourites for across the lid, but falls out all over!

Burnout: a light satin peachy-pink shade, lovely across the lid.

Limit: A dusky but pale pink matte shade, perfect if you want a subtly defined crease...I prefer the darker 'Nooner', but then I like my eye drama.

Buzz: A true rose pink glitter shade - again beware of fall-out, but it's gorgeous!

Trick: another glitter but this time a peachy-copper tone, I LOVE this one. 

Nooner: Darker than 'Limit'- my favourite to darken out the crease, a buildable, pink-brown matte shade.

Liar: The first of the darker shades; a deep rose gold satin/glitter.

Factory: A warm brown satin shade with small glitter particles.

Mugshot: a satin taupe shade with a cool, frosted finish.

Darkside: Another satin but much deeper - almost purple hued, again with a slightly frosted finish.

Blackheart: An odd one - like a matte black but with tiny flecks of glitter? Red glitter though...ooooh pretty.

Lid: 'Buzz'. Crease/lower lashline: 'Nooner'. Inner crease: 'Factory'
Inner corner: MAC MSF 'Soft and Gentle'.

Oh and one more thing: 

This palette comes with four sample sized primers, (Original, Eden, Sin, and Anti-Ageing) and for god's sake USE THEM!

The picture below shows the shade 'Dust' both with and without primer, I'll be honest and brutal when I say that without primer 'Dust' literally becomes dust and umm...dusts off.

:| 

Oh and without primer your cheeks will become glitter balls 'cos I'm telling ya that stuff wants to escape down your face like some sort of shiny rebel, and it WILL...

You know those times you can see a speck of glitter on your cheek out the corner of your eye but just can't quite find it?

For three days?

No matter how much you scrub your face?

Yes. This.

I ain't about having chunky pink glitter on my cheeks man, what are we now - eight?

Glitter make-up died with the cancellation of my once beloved 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' magazine subscription.

...and my hot pink Barry M Dazzle Dust phase.

Don't do it kids.

(l) 'Dust' without primer, (r) 'Dust' with primer.
Snm.

Overall...it's safe to say I'm enjoying my beautiful Naked 3 experience, and I have to say to any doubters out there - the pink is neutral enough to work!

Uh-huh no conjunctivitis looking eyes on my face peeps - Urban Decay this must have been no mean feat, but you done good! 

A pink toned palette that will genuinely suit all skin types and tones is something of a mission impossible - and when it's this pretty?

Ain't no-one gonna turn it down.

Oooh didn't I do well there?

Slyly high five-ing myself for my own sheer strength and ability to shut my cake hole.

Kind of.

To summarise:

1. Wear primer.

2. The Daybreak/Good Morning Britain competition still eludes me.

3. Dynamo clearly is Jesus.

...And I have pretty Rose Gold tones on my eyes maynnn!!

Thank you Stacey doll, I'm one lucky girl. 

Love you lots <3 xxx

OOTD: The River Island Trousers

You guys.

If each day had a theme tune, then today's would be,

 Ultrabeat's 'Feeling Fine', (meh)

 Flo Rida's 'Good Feeling', (definitely not) 

Nina Simone's 'I'm Feeling Good'.

Summat like that...

You get the picture.

See today, I'm feeling good.

More than good.

I'm typing this on my newly restored laptop while Willow Smith-ing and whipping my newly rescued locks back and forth while typing like a multitaskable mo'fo.

Yes. That good.

During the last week, I have been über constructive; I've done more gym sessions that I'd like to admit for fear of being sectioned, I have a new and rather spectacular phone, and I've regained my ailing typing skills in exceedingly quick time, no longer bashing the keys like a Tyrannosaurus Rex wondering how the hell it survived that asteroid, though unfortunately without evolving digits mini enough to type, therefore extinct-ing itself once more in the ultimate 'hand-over-face' moment.

It's 2014 maynn - we use techonogehhh.

Oh, and I have good eyebrows again.

Say.No.More. 

What I wore:

Trousers - River Island £30

Crop Top - Karma Clothing £5 (similar here in white)

Necklace - H&M £7.99

Massive Gold Hoops - H&M £3.99 (?)

Lipstick - MAC 'Lady Danger' £15...because I seemingly don't own owt else.

So on the day these photo's were taken, things were slightly umm...different shall we say.

These now feel like pictures of a slightly broken alien, who's phone was failing her, who's laptop refused to upload said photos due to extensive slowness, fullness, and general old age, and who's hair and eyebrows looked so inexplicable, the only description available is a slow, sad shaking of the head.

Bad times.

If only you could see up close and clearer, you'd see the legs sprouting on my stationary over-eye caterpillars, and the unwanted colour gradation in my barnet.

Never in my life have I wanted long black streaks with oddly washed out gingery roots.

'Chocolate Brown' pssssht.

#lies

Even the weather had it in for me:

Torrential rain + hairspray + backcombing = might as well just shave it off Holl.

Those were tough times.

I did however, have an absolutely fantastic day with some rather amazing ladies in Leeds, eating food which can only be described as 'bare peng', and laughing more than I have in a while.

The bonus being that the rain actually stopped, right before I gave in to a new career in 'Ark Construction', meaning my Summery trousers weren't honestly too bad-a-choice!

Seriously though, how nice are these trousers?

It was one of those 'I could just walk out of the shop now, £30 richer, but have these on my mind until the end of time they're out of stock and beyond, and therefore live a life of regret...or I could just buy them.' moments.

I can't think of anything better I could have done with my £30.

Moroccan Spice Houmous is only £1 at ASDA, therefore my ability to purchase it hasn't been greatly affected, and life as we know it may continue...

Oh.

Also, the orangey flowers on said trousers totes match my 'Lady Danger' lipstick.

...I'm sure you'll agree no further justification is necessary.

So ladies and gents, this week has been a series of life lessons on my part, all extremely important of course...

1. Home dyes lie.

2. Get your eyebrows done, phobia of caterpillars or otherwise.

3. BUY THE GOD DAMN TROUSERS.

oh, and most importantly...*

4. Even when your backcombing/hairspray has been rained into a matted paste - don't shave it, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!

Good.

Now that has been established, let's dance:

*I lied, just like the #lies L'Oreal dyes spread to us.

 We all know the most important life lesson is to buy houmous, always buy houmous.