A Shimmerkisses Sparkle: MUA Bronzer Review

Meh.

Mehhhhhh.

You know that little noise you have to make when you quite like something, but not enough to say an actual word, because of course when something is 'distinctly average', you just can't even be bothered to acknowledge it with spoken words, and revert to a pre-historic, Neanderthal state?

Yeah, you know...

In that case let me introduce you to the MUA Shimmerkisses Bronzer, which, being just £3, savvy non-spender moi, was drawn to like some sort of crazed make-up mad moth to an extremely sparkly flame.

Wonder if the endless moths in my house will feel the same...

Maybe I could turn this bronzer into a shimmery Venus Fly Trap and squish the little monsters into make-up mush* muhahaha...

Screw the product. 

Moth Massacre is my thing.

So, me being the human mapgie/moth/pirate, (yep, defo Pirate, miles cooler...) that I am, saw this on the shelves of a strangely small Superdrug in Leeds, where I was actually hunting down this, and fully intending to make use of the 3 for 2 offer it came with.

However, it wasn't meant to be...

Instead, I started to search for alternatives, and the 'Shimmerkisses' stood out to me, firstly, for the beautifully embossed, sparkly quad-colour product, and secondly, for the pretty oddly designed packaging it was visible through - compared to the usual simple, professional looking black/white that MUA products come in.

The glittery, purple lips proper give me the Claire's make-up-for-twelve-year-old's vibe.

Unusual...

Maybe MUA should be renamed 'MEH', for one product only... 

Anyhow, I decided for £3, what the hell, MUA normally put out fantastic products, and who was to say that a stupid purple glittery motif would make this any different?!

I'm glad, (mostly) that I made that decision.

The four separate colours -as they appear in the tin, so to speak...

Swirled together - unblended

Swirled together - blended

Before I even applied this to my face, I decided to swatch the colours separately, and concluded they'd make pretty nice eyeshadows! Or at least the darker and more golden one's would...

On swirling them together, I made another conclusion - this is NOT a bronzer!!

MUA, really? This product is pale as, and shimmery - why have you stuck the word 'bronzer' on the front?! 

WHYYYY?!

My gripes with this packaging never end...

Yes, the colours are on the warm and bronze-side, but when blended they come out a pale, champagne colour and probably couldn't even bronze up a blumin' polar bear*!!

The back of the packaging tells you it's purpose is 'highlighting', even - it just happens to come in bronze-esque Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick/Dior Amber Diamond type shades.

As far as using the actual product AS A HIGHLIGHTER goes, I actually like it.

I muchhhhh prefer it to the Sleek Contour Kit's highlighter, which recently left me with two very attractive white stripes on my face from camera flashback.

I swear I only put a tiny bit on, too...

Awkward.

It's much less white looking than the Sleek one, so more natural and perfect for the time of year. It also doesn't look like you've shoved a load of glitter on your face; when you can see the little flecks, they're minuscule. 

I took literally like a hundred photo's this week, on various days, from various angles, in various rooms of my house, in the car, (other half nearly kicked me out at the traffic lights, apparently I was being 'embarrassing') flash on, flash off.

You name it, I did it.

I even swept it on the tops of my cheekbones in an overly exaggerated form by about day four, desperate for SOMETHING.

Yep. I walked around for an entire day glowing like a glitter ball getting attacked by a golden glow stick.

Not sure anyone noticed?

Maybe it's not as noticeable as I thought...

Or maybe, Holly, they were just too nice to say anything...

The best I could come up with were these two, one, sat in the car with the flash on - I had a tiny bit of the lightest colour on my brow bone also, (which, PRAISE THE LAWWWD, you can see!) but don't look too close, I'm now extremely close to HD Brow Day and my left eyebrow is even closer to caterpillar status.

All readers beware, it can't promise it's not going to grow out of your screen right now.

Or in the night...

Midnight...

*Makes immediate plans to trap it, moth style, under the lid of this product, should things get nasty*

The second photo is an extreme close-up, and the best the beautiful sunshine could pick it up that day! I promise you can actually see it more without the obstructions an iPhone camera brings you...

I have to say, I'm glad I got it, even if it isn't the best and most amazing thing I've ever put on my face, it doesn't add anything to my cheekbones unless I'm in exact lighting shall we say, and it isn't going to quench my desire to own a MAC Mineralise Skin Finish, or Dior Amber Diamond...

Most importantly though, it isn't going to break the bank, and for that reason, I am happy :)

It is though, just, 'meh'.

*I do not advocate trying this, and I'm not that cruel, really...





OOOH by the way, I forgot to add...
You know me, I like to be a little cheeky now and then, and I'd just LOOOOVE it if any of you wanted to nominate me for the Cosmo Blog Awards :D

My blog is under a year old so I also qualify for the Next Newcomer Award yey :)

Not entirely sure whether I count as new beauty or fashion blogger, seeing as I do both, but I'd say beauty - because there are so many bloggers out there with better and more unique style than me.

Equally, there are better beauty bloggers, but a girl's gotta try man!

Anyhoo, it would make my day :)

 You can vote here :)